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We returned home. Piet and Emma played with opa in the garden, looking for ladybirds. Many people have asked how Piet and Emma have coped with it all. To us, they seem okay. Initially, they were cared for by Sarah's mum and sister. Later on, Jan's mum took care of them, joined by Jan's sister for the week of the funeral. Piet and Emma went to nursery, swimming lessons, Dutch playgroup and monthly church childrens activity as usual. We have been celebrating Saint Nicholas in the usual manner. Additionally, Piet and Emma have done trips to the Melbourne and Healesville zoo with their grandmothers. They have had a lot of attention. Piet had been staying dry most nights for a few weeks and he decided not to wear a nappy to bed from the 4th November. It has gone well ever since. He gets up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet and returns to bed all by himself. How impressed can a parent be?
Piet has been asking lots of questions : Why is Will dressed? he asked in the funeral home. Indeed, Will had never been dressed in the hospital, as nurses needed instant access 24/7. He also asked in the funeral home: Is Will going to grow bigger? When we told him we would have to say goodbye to Will on Friday, he asked: Why not Tuesday? Well, the funeral had initially been planned for Tuesday and we had forgotton to advise Piet of the change. He does not fully get the concept of death, but he is aware of many things. Emma, on the other hand, is younger still and understands less. Both were utterly sweet in the way they said goodbye to Will.
And how are we? Well, we are obviously thinking of Will a lot. Sometimes, this makes us very sad, while other times it, surprisingly, feels fairly normal. We still talk about him to each other and with others every day. Sometimes, Piet and Emma mention him: when driving through Melbourne, Emma spotted a Will letter (w).
Piet is very observant. When oma Bep asked about the most common small bird in our garden, Jan replied he couldn't remember its name and had to ask Sarah. Piet interjected:
Piet now understands that Dutch and English are two seperate languages that he can speak, while most people can't. For most books he knows in which language they are written. Emma tries to pronounce many Dutch words, but full phrases mostly come in English, especially when talking to her big brother. She is very helpful. When Piet refuses to get his shoes, she is already off to get them for him.
The week continued with grannybunts's birthday, which we celebrated with a home-baked cake. On Tuesday morning, Piet was excited to find a bag full of presents left by Sinterklaas. We unwrapped the presents, some even together. Piet and Emma got more wooden railway tracks, which they enjoyed playing with. Oma read them a new book about a dog named Rintje. Piet and Emma retired to drink some pretend juice from a soap scoop. On Wednesday, mum and dad went out for dinner at a nearby winery; oma had a lot of fun looking after Piet and Emma on her own, playing hide-and-seek in the garden in pajamas. On Thursday, we drove oma to the airport and watched some planes take off. The next morning, Piet put on his pajamas over his clothes for the brush-teeth-and-hair routine.
A good squabble
Piet and Emma can play together adorably, but they squabble a lot too. A nice example was their conversation in the back of the car while driving on the ringroad. A car with two men in high visibility vests had just driven past on Emma's side of the car.
E: "I see two men in car on my side."
P: "I saw them too."
(a few moments of silence)
P: "Emma, tell me I didn't see them."
E: "You didn't see them."
P: "Yes, I did."
E: "No, you didn't."
...
We had a quiet week before going to opa and grannybunts for christmas. Mum had a swim with Piet and Emma. Both can climb out of the pool and especially Emma will jump back in enthusiastically. We removed all Will's sympathy cards from the mantlepiece; thank you for your support. One rose and two cranes, birds that carry the spirits of the departed to the heavens in ancient Chinese legends, remain in our garden in memory of Will. We attended Remy's fourth-birthday party at a local playground.
